Posted by: Leigh Reynolds | February 18, 2011

Coming Into Focus

We have been trying to sell our house for almost three years now. We’ve had it on and off the market, uncluttered, made improvements, re-arranged things, dropped the price, and prayed.  Lately I seem to just pray a lot. “Please Lord, please send us a buyer for this house. Please sell this house.”

Long before we had Wil, we wanted to move. Now it is a much more pressing issue. The little guy can’t sleep in a bassinet at the foot of our bed forever! He needs a real crib in his own room. We need a smaller mortgage payment. We bought when interest rates were high. When they dropped like crazy years ago and everyone else was refinancing, our credit rating was terrible and we didn’t qualify. Now, we have good credit and equity in the house (even in this terrible market with declining values), but you can’t refinance when you are trying to sell. We are paying WAY more each month than we should, the bedroom situation is crappy, and I am very tired of having all of my personal effects in storage. I miss – really miss – all of my family pictures. I want my mask collection back on the wall. I want a smaller yard. I want something different.

 There are a lot of houses for sale in our neighborhood (heck, everywhere!) Every once in a while I see one sell. I’ll go look it up online to see where it was priced, how long it was on the market, was the kitchen that much nicer? I always come away with the same thought… Our house is priced well, shows well, clean, fresh paint and such. More often than not, I think ours is a better bargain – much more house for the money. When we get a showing, that is pretty much the feedback we get, so that is not just my bias. Why did that house sell over ours?

I’ll have a pity party for myself for a while, ask a lot of “why” questions, but eventually you just gotta get over it. There are things to do! There has to be a reason. There has to be a plan. Maybe there is someone out there that is supposed to be in this house and they aren’t ready yet. Maybe there is a perfect house out there for us, but it’s not ready yet. Maybe we are supposed to learn something from this waiting. Maybe not. All I know is, I have a choice. I can choose to whine and be sad or I can choose to focus on the blessings all around me.

I am blessed to have a roof over my head, the heating  bill paid, cable TV to watch, a dishwasher… the list goes on and on.

I am blessed to have three amazing children that all need a place to lay their head. We may be a little cramped and discombobulated, but we have each other and they are more amazing than any floor plan.

At the end of the day, life is a choice. We choose how we react in any given situation. It is OK – and likely a little healthy – to throw yourself a little pity party every once in a while. But it is better to choose to leave that party after a few minutes and move on to something better. It really is just that easy, when you allow yourself to believe it.

Years from now, Jake will speak fondly about how cool it was to have a loft bed in this tiny room downstairs. If that is what we focus on. We will remember the game nights together, staying home to play Wii Rock Band, not that we couldn’t afford the movies. If that is what we focus on. We will regale people with stories of the awesome parties in the huge back yard – not about what a pain it was to mow with our little push mower. If that is what we focus on.

Life is a choice. Focus on the stuff you love, think about how you are blessed, and you will build for yourself a pretty amazing life. If that is what you focus on…

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