Posted by: Leigh Reynolds | March 19, 2013

The Morning After

So last night I was brooding. I needed to process and whine a bit. Some days just end like that. I could have – maybe should have – just gone to bed at 10:15 rather than stay up until 11:30pm writing, but it was cathartic and I felt better having puked out some of my feelings onto my blog.

It also freed up some space – in my head and in my heart. I woke up and started to feel a fresher perspective, so I thought I’d share…

As I pondered all I wrote about chasing after Wil, I realized that is what our Heavenly Father does with us. He chases after us. He pours out His love and we don’t notice. He offers a blessing and we are so absorbed in our own activity that we miss it. He speaks to us and it doesn’t always get though. We aren’t tuned in.

I am still trying to figure out exactly what I can and will do with what God has entrusted to me. But I do know that I have a longing to do something. There is a story he is writing in me, a script he has for me to deliver that is still in development. There is an unrest in my heart and a pull to do more. Just as I am learning how to communicate with Wil, I am also learning how to tune in to God and hear what he is saying. I am striving to notice when He is near and hear Him when he calls my name.

Shortly after Wil’s diagnosis, a dear, sweet, wonderful friend, Carolyn, said to me, “Just think of all you will learn from him!” And recently another friend, Valen, posted this to Facebook: “If you find yourself asking, “Why me?” The answer is…because you will do something with it.”

Carolyn was right, I am learning so much. I hope Valen’s post rings true and I am able to do something with it – or more to the point, I pray I am able to get myself out of the way (my doubts, fears, anxiety, ideas and plans) and allow God to do something amazing through me.

His mercy in new every morning and I am so thankful for a new day.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. Hi Sweet Leigh,
    I was not aware that your son has autism. I too find comfort in writing and getting things off of my chest. I had never written before the PKD Foundation asked if I would write a weekly inspirational blog. Right now I am going through a challenge that I too am holding on to the remarks that you quoted me on. I am starting to accept and realize that all I have been through, the knowledge I have gained and the gift of life that I have been given is a tool. A tool that I am to use to help educate and inspire others. When I look at my life that way, it is easier to deal with each new health hurdle that is put before me. With all of the health issues I have endured, everything has unfolded beautifully. I try and trust that this will continue. My current back issue going on has really forced me to slow down, which in turn has allowed me to step back and look at my life. I feel like I am reevaluating things and that change will happen from all of this. I am just not sure what yet. I am sorry to hear of the challenges that you are going through. You are for sure an amazing woman that will do something incredible with the challenges that are put before you. Never lose that hope. I am also realizing that if I start to over-think and or worry about the future, I will go insane and life will become too overwhelming. So, I am really focusing on each day and living it to the best of my ability and having the best quality of life in each day, for we do not know what the new day will bring. My husband always tells me if you are happy where you are today than everything in the past was worthwhile. I focus on my happiness with my husband, Noah, and know that the health issues I have been through and continue to go through are all for a greater purpose. You have the sweetest soul and I believe in you with all of my heart! Stay strong my dear friend! xoxo


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: