Posted by: Leigh Reynolds | March 14, 2014

Spinning

It was the day after what we all hope was the last snow of the year. Tess had a dentist appointment that afternoon, so we bundled up and headed out. The road was packed with heavy snow and it was slick. As we backed out of the driveway and attempted to head north, (which is a slight incline), the wheels just spun and we couldn’t get any traction. I pulled back into the driveway and tried again. Wheels spinning again, getting nowhere. Finally, after my third or fourth attempt, Tess quite frustratingly said, “Mom, you are not going to get anywhere going that way. Just stop and go another way!”

I was very frustrated now myself. I mean, who wants to be schooled by their 11 year old daughter?! But in my house – a home with an exceptionally bright and determined young lady in it – it happens far too often.

I drove back into the driveway and pulled out heading south, which is slightly downhill. I had to go around the block and circle back to go north – a longer route – but now we were moving. It seemed out of the way at first, but we got there. Unlike my earlier futile attempts that were getting me nowhere.

Isn’t that how it is in life sometimes? We get so stuck in going one way, the route we had planned, that we fail to see it isn’t getting us anywhere. Wheels are spinning, we have no traction, but we just press harder. All we do is create a rut that makes any real progress all the more difficult and further out of reach.

So often, God is trying to show us another way. He is telling us, “Stop. Go my way. I know it seem longer, or out of the way, but trust me. I know what I am doing.” God already knows the plans He has for us and as He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 they are plans for good, to give us hope and a future. He knows we’re never going to get anywhere worthwhile going the way of the world so He lovingly guides us in another direction.

He has shown this to me over and over again in my life, and yet somehow in my flawed humanness, I still miss it. I push forward, my own way, creating a rut. He has to show me this truth again and again. But He does. Patiently, lovingly and repeatedly.

I get so busy and so caught up in things. Juggling roles of mom, wife, business woman; keeping up with all-things autism for Wil, making meals and packing lunches, managing my company, taking care of clients, cleaning house, errands, keeping tabs on the family calendar which has 5 people’s activities tracked in 5 different colors of ink… Oh, I could go on.

A few years ago I thought I had it figured out. Jake and Tess were getting older and more self-sufficient, I was traveling a lot and loving it, my career was going strong, but my marriage was a wreck. I was mapping out a certain path for myself… Then God told me to stop. Miraculously he put my marriage back on track. He surprised us with Wil, then He really surprised us with Wil’s diagnosis of autism.

I went from high powered meetings to speech and ABA therapy on the floor. I went from trips to LA, NYC and the four corners to working in my basement in sweats, Skype as my main meeting space. The future is uncertain, but I have a solid family that has dinner together more, we chat about our day and we enjoy each other’s company. In a few short years, Jake will be off at college and Tess will be a young lady in high school. That same year, we hope to have Wil in kindergarten and maybe he’ll be talking then and able to tell me about his day. Maybe he won’t.

I am not entirely sure where this path is leading, but I know who is leading the way. If I can remember to patiently follow the route God lays out before me, it will all be alright. The road He takes us down can seem like the long way around at times, but His leading will keep us from spinning our wheels going nowhere, and it will get us down the road closer to His blessings. Along the way, He’ll sprinkle in a myriad of blessings too, I just have to keep my eyes open for them. After all, life is more about the journey and Who you’re walking with.

As for me, I am focusing on walking by faith with the Almighty One who has the strength to see me through, is opening up the way, and is ceaselessly working to bring His best to my life, even when I am too stubborn to see it right away.

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